Visionary Care Consultants, Healthcare Advocates, and Care Managers of San Diego & Riverside in California.

Lessons from the seriously ill

Lessons from the seriously ill

Share This Post

A long-time hospice nurse—someone deeply committed to caring for the seriously ill—created this list of the top five deathbed regrets she frequently observed in her patients. She vowed to take these lessons to heart. Do any of these ring true for you?


  • I wish I had lived MY life, not the life others expected of me. There’s no vitality in merely “being good” in the eyes of others. Doing things to please others will simply leave you feeling empty. Doing things that reflect your personal values will leave you feeling fulfilled.
  • I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Between work and caregiving, are you allowing for quality time with people you love? What can you do to make more time available?
  • I wish I had expressed my feelings more. It does take courage to let others know your thoughts and feelings. Such intimacy also adds meaning to relationships.
  • I wish I had stayed connected with friends. What is cherished most in the end isn’t fame or money, but relationships. The priceless joy of being loved and giving love. Even with your time limited by caregiving, pick a few relationships to nurture.
  • I wish I had let myself be happier. We don’t have choice about many things in life. But we do control what we spend our time thinking about. We can worry. We can be sad or angry. Or, instead, we can practice focusing on the things that ARE going well in our lives.


It never hurts to stop and take stock of your life. Use any regrets as a springboard for future action, bringing your deepest priorities and personal values to the fore.


Are you living according to your values?

As the San Diego County, CA experts in family caregiving, we at Visionary Care Consultants notice that family members have a unique opportunity to grasp the big picture. What does quality of life truly mean to you? Let us help you arrange your responsibilities so you can focus on what’s truly important in your life. Give us a call at 866-203-0827 (toll-free).

More To Explore

Adaptive clothing

If you have dressed a relative with dementia or assisted a family member with Parkinson’s, you know there are challenges involved. Dressing requires physical coordination,

Read More »

What is “inflammaging”?

Chronic inflammation is like the body (your “house”) catching fire. We have all dealt with acute inflammation. It comes with injury, such as a sprained

Read More »